Don't forget to call the orthodontist

Last week I finally had a consultation for orthodontics for Rowan, (kid #6 needing braces). I totally picked the doctor based on the location of his office. After doing braces for 5 of the kids already, I know how often those appointments are, and how common it is for a bracket to fall off and need an emergency appointment. It took forever, but the lobby of the office had an arcade, and an ice cream and slushy bar, which made it tolerable. After rounds of x-rays and a meeting with the rather short doctor who didn't look me in the eye when he talked to me, to discuss treatment options, I met with the financial person to discuss cost. Well, I think I know who is paying for that arcade and slushy bar, me! In approximately 24 months, Rowan will have straight teeth, and i'll be $6,700 poorer (just $4,700 after insurance).

I ended up leaving with a slight case of sticker shock, and instead of scheduling the next appointment to start treatment, I pulled the, "I'll need to discuss this with my husband" excuse. When I got home I quickly posted to Facebook to ask the opinions of my friends on the cost of their orthodontic care. Despite already paying for braces for 5 of the kids, I honestly couldn't remember what one of their entire treatment plans actually cost. All I know is that I don't remember the total being more than both Cal, and Landon's first cars, combined.
Answers came from all over the world, (the joys of a military past life), with costs ranging from $2,000 to almost $7,000 for treatment. Because my quote was one near the top end. I had to get a second opinion.

I remembered back to the fall festival that I had attended at my little kids' school when we were just getting settled after moving here. I had bought a few things at a silent auction fundraiser that was part of the event, a craft basket that Lily just had to have and promised she would share with her brothers, and a gift certificate for orthodontic treatment. I paid $150 for the gift certificate which granted me a savings of $1,500 off the total cost of treatment, which was estimated to be approximately $6,000. At the time I thought that seemed super ridiculously expensive, not realizing that that's the going rate in Las Vegas-if the estimate I got from the arcade and slushy orthodontist was any indication of the going rate.

So, I dug the gift certificate out of a pile of papers in a drawer in the office and gave them a call. Three weeks later, our appointment for a second opinion is tomorrow. I'm hopeful for a better price than the first place and a waiting room that is even half as cool would still be good enough. And an orthodontist who looks me in the eye when going over the treatment plan would be good too. What i'm hoping for the most is to leave the appointment grateful that my $150 silent auction investment really does end up saving me $1,500.



(Do not under estimate local businesses that offer services, when soliciting donations for silent auctions and other fundraisers. Window installation, lawn care, pest control, plastic surgery centers, even orthodontists have to grow their businesses too are happy to donate to local charity events.)

A Behind the Scenes Look at Our Hobo Camp

When I started this blog a few years ago I chose the name True Skinny. The name came after I had been looking through Facebook and really started thinking about the image of my life I had created online through carefully chosen pictures of my perfect family, slim body, and organized home. When I compared that life to reality I realized that only part of it was true. By posting pictures of the kids when they weren't fighting, crying or threatening to run away, photos of my skinny side, and interior shots of the one clean room in the house, my Facebook image was a pretty good-looking reality.

In contrast, I wanted my blog to be the real True Skinny, a true-to-life account of the workings of life as a mother of 7, military wife, antiques dealer, freelance writer and home renovator. But this morning I realized that some of the things that I continue to keep "hidden" are the things that make me and my family real. My philosophy has always been that actions and the way you treat people are far more important than the way you look. That being the case, why did I let our hobo camp driveway tick me off the way it did this morning?

So, this morning when I left to drive the middle schoolers to school at a little after 7:00 am I was tired. I was cranky because I stayed up too late painting furniture. I hit the snooze about 4 times and had just enough time to throw on one of Dave's huge sweatshirts before I had to run out the door. There is so much crap piled up in our bedroom that I nearly killed myself trying to find my slippers. Neither of the middle schoolers-Evi or Landon-had set alarms, so I ran franticly to their rooms banging on doors yelling, " Wake up, you're late!". We haven't grocery shopped because payday is tomorrow, so a packaged pop-tart was the best I could do for breakfast.

Evi commented, "I'd rather starve."

I decided to sit in the car and wait for them to come out. What happened next is my inspiration for this entire blog post. This is the scene that I saw out the windshield.

I sat staring at my driveway and yard in disgust. I thought "What would I do if people actually saw the way we live?" Then I realized that people do see this. My neighbors drive by my house every day. When new friends' parents' drop their kids off at my house they see it; although I always offer the disclaimer, "Please excuse the mess, we are under renovation." Then I thought about my blog and wondered what you would think, because until now, I would never publish a picture showing this kind of chaos. Would you be surprised by the mess? Would you be reliveved knowing that my life with 7 kids isn't always perfectly clean, well organized and painted a pretty shade of distressed pink paint?

When Landon got in the car I asked him, "Do you realize that it looks like we live in a hobo camp?"

His response was, "No, what it looks like is that we have a son who has a hobby of fixing up go-carts and dirt bikes. There is nothing unsafe there and it isn't going to rain."

After what I will admit was kind of a long lecture on the way to school about picking up after yourself, I really thought about what Landon said. What I saw as a mess-something to be ashamed of, he saw as a playground-surrounded by classic cars and guy toys. What I wanted to hide, because it looked messy and unorganized, he wanted to promote.

Then I thought about my blog. I realized that the true skinny is that I am the mother of 7 busy kids and a military officer's wife-that alone is enough to fill anyone's plate. If that is all I did I might be able to keep things organized and clean, be on time for practices and dentist appointments and do baths and bedtime a night with without raising my voice, but then throw in antiques dealer, freelance writer and home renovator. How do I do it all you often ask, and make things look so good, and raise great athletes and be so creative? The fact is-the true skinny is-that when one thing looks great, there are often many other things that are compromised, and doing it all flawlessly is impossible. When I post pictures of a beautiful dresser that I refinished in a day, what I am not telling you is that the kids had to hunt for clean socks out of a pile a mile high because I didn't fold any laundry. Just because I don't post pictures of my dirty dishes, publish threats from my kids that they are going to live with Grandma and Grandpa, or detail the accounts of someone sneaking beers at a family party, doesn't mean they don't happen.

Now, I am not quite ready to post a picture of my bikini clad body before the big spring diet or the condition of my master bedroom (you know, the one that I almost killed myself in this morning trying to find my slippers), but I will try to dispel the belief that I am superwoman by posting some of the pictures and stories that I would have otherwise censored before this morning's revelation while sitting in my driveway. I just hope that all of my friends out there, whether physical or cyber, will have the same respect for me knowing I live in a hobo camp. At least it's a happy hobo camp.

Our Priorities: School, Sports, Social Life - In that order.

A friend asked recently "How did you get all your kids to be such good athletes?" I didn't have an answer for her right away because I had to think about it. I guess it's surprising that all 7 of the kids are athletic and love college and pro teams. What I realized in coming up with an answer for her is that kids who excel at sports aren't just born, they're made.
I walked into Rowan and Davey's room this morning to pick up, and I started thinking about my friend's question. As I made Davey's bed I admired his sports themed quilt. I fluffed his pillows and piled the basketball and football throw pillows on top. I sat down in the little blue school chairs near the boys' play table. I found the chairs on the side of the road and they were the perfect shade of blue to match the rugby stripes painted on their bedroom walls. I sorted the laundry piles-a New England Patriots jersey handed down by Landon, a Virginia Tech Football t-shirt, a Boston Celtics sweat suit, a soccer jersey from Italy. Perched on Rowan's bed stand next to his vintage looking baseball lamp was his first trophy-earned for playing T-Ball last season.
Sports is a way of life in our family. We watch the Red Sox together. Dave makes tailgate food for big Navy games or when the Pats play on Sunday's. I follow Michael Phelps on Facebook, sharing pictures from his page with Cal, encouraging him to keep on swimming-to keep breaking records. My kids have seen the Sox play in Boston, Baltimore and Tampa.
So, to answer my friend's question, we didn't just get lucky, we created our brood of sports-loving kids. When parents show kids a good thing, encourage it with enthusiasm and make it a priority, it becomes legend. Cheerleading, gymnastics, ballet, soccer, baseball, basketball, football, volleyball, track & field, swimming, diving, wrestling, karate-we've played them all. Sports keep the kids busy, encourages team work and who knows, might even end up paying for college. But, if the product of all the expense, time and effort that we have dedicated into creating kids who love sports goes no further than creating 7 more Yankee haters in this beautiful world, it will all have been worth it in the end.

Cal at the start, summer swim All-Stars 2011

Evelyn paddle boarding at Plum Island, MA

Lily's first summer competitive swimming 2011.

Austin, #42, a machine on the field.

How to Manage Post Trick-or-Treating Halloween Candy

Can you imagine being a kid and getting a day pass to eat as much candy as you want from an endless supply? That's Halloween at our house-the one day of the year that the kids can eat as much candy as they want. The "all you can eat" method of Halloween parenting achieves a few goals.

• The kids think we are the best parents in the world from the time they get home from trick-or-treating until they go go bed, making a fun holiday even more fun.
• The more candy the kids eat on Halloween night the less there is the next day or week.
• When they eat all the good candy on Halloween night the "leftovers" are less appealing, interest wanes and you can toss out or donate the rest without too much opposition.

So let the kids stay out as long as they can stand the cold, let them trade for their favorites, and let them eat to their hearts content so the major sugar high lasts one night instead of every night for weeks. Happy Halloween!

Let Your Baby Chew on Your iPhone

Babies are just as fascinated with iPhones as their parents. Of course they use iPhones, and any Android phone, in different ways than we do. We text, they chew. We talk, they babble into the drool covered mouth piece. I've never lost a cell phone to drool, but I have certainly had to replace my key fob once or twice.

When a mother gets desperate she'll give baby just about anything to keep him quiet, whether it is breastfeeding in the grocery line while unloading the cart (yes, I've done that), providing candy as a peace offering, or handing over the cell phone. Tonight, during a late night run to the store for last minute sugar cubes for a school project, I found what appears to be the greatest invention ever for any mother who has an infant or toddler and has an iPhone.

Fisher Price has come up with the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Aptivity Case, a protective case for the iPhone or iPod Touch that is part toy steering wheel, part rattle, part teether, and it allows babies to play apps too. Assuming that this toy works as well as it is said to, I think this is the coolest Christmas gift ever for mom, or baby. I didn't buy one since Davey is old enough to know that you don't chew on high-end electronics, and I don't have an iPhone. However, if it was made to fit an Android I probably would have spent the money just to try it out. I can tell you one thing. If they come out with an aptivity case for the iPad I'll be first in line.

Every Preschooler Needs an iPad

An Apple - iPad2 (or slightly bigger and less expensive original  iPad) is worth every dollar for the practicality, entertainment and educational value it provides-for me and my 3-year-old. Here's why every preschooler should have one.

Dave bought me an iPad2 for my 40th birthday. Because I am a freelance writer and blogger, in addition to a busy mother, I have to use my time wisely. Some days the only writing that I get done is in the "Kiss and Ride" pick-up line at school (where kids are dropped off and picked up instead of taking the bus) or on the bleachers watching warm-ups before a ball game. With 3G capability, which costs about $30 every couple months or so, I am connected to the web just about anywhere. I can type a quick reminder note on the virtual notebook, check email, write an introduction to an upcoming article that I have put together in my head but not on paper or kill a few pigs playing Angry Birds.

Unlike an android phone which is too small for adult size fingers, or a bigger and bulkier laptop, the iPad is perfectly sized. It slips right into my purse like a small day-planner. It is also very easy for Davey to tote around under his arm. He doesn't leave home without it.

Davison is a 3-year-old iPad pro. The creators at Apple know how to make technology easy to use, for sure. From mastering the simple power button on the outside, to finding Netflix and playing Episode 2 of the old Spider Man cartoons, Davison knows just what buttons to push, where to tap the screen, and how to make the scene bigger by spreading his thumb and forefinger apart. The iPad is a handheld game system, portable TV, digital reader, even an MP3 player. An entire library of movies, downloadable books and educational games is available at the tap of a screen. Pop in a pair of headphones and your little one will be grooving to the tunes of the Bare Naked Ladies Snacktime! CD on download (All of my kids have loved Snacktime!) and drawing on a digital Etch-A-Sketch while waiting at a doctor's office or even at a red light.

I can already see my mother shaking her head in disgust that I would even suggest a $600 toy for a child. She would say that kids don't need $600 computer toys. They need books and a backyard. I agree, those things are very important too.

One goal that Steve Jobs accomplished with his innovative Apple products was easy to use, multi purpose tools to make living easier and technology work for you. Anything that makes a mother's job easier, and keeps the kids happier during not-so-fun errands and appointments, is worth it in my book. The entertainment value and practicality of the iPad make it well worth the investment.